If Only To Live
by avaniheath
Summary: My thoughts on what we didn't see in "The Hole in the Heart".
1. 1: Aftermath of a Tragedy

**This is my first fic, so let me know what you think!**

**I don't own anything or anybody! These are just the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind ;)**

If Only To Live

Booth lay back on the bed, cradling a crying Temperance Brennan in his arms, hoping he was being of some comfort to her in this hard time. All he could think of was trying to ease her pain over the death of her favorite squintern, Vincent.

"Shh. I'm right here. I know. It's hard," he said, rubbing her back and arm. He could feel her relax against him, the tears still coming strong.

The partners lay together in the soft light shining in from the living room, holding one another, both thinking back over the events of the day. Vincent Nigel-Murray really was a good kid. He had been interning at the lab for a couple of years and everyone had come to enjoy his presence. Listening to random facts being spouted in the process of a case had become the norm. Few bothered to even stop him anymore. It was accepted behavior now, just like Clark's need for professionalism, Daisy's high-pitched squealing, or Fisher's herbal tea. It was what it was. It was what made Vincent special.

'If only I hadn't handed him the phone …,' Booth thought, trying to dismiss the sense of guilt that had finally started to settle over him. 'If only he hadn't answered. If only I had traced the signal quicker ….'

_I don't blame myself for this. I blame the guy who pulled the trigger. _He did blame Broadsky, of course. But Brennan knew that he was saving a little bit of that blame for himself. She could feel the tension stirring in Booth's chest, just under her hand, knowing he was starting to blame himself, regardless of what he had told Sweets in the conference room. She could practically hear his thoughts, stabbing at his self-worth like tiny daggers.

"He meant to kill you," she said, so soft that Booth wasn't even sure if she had spoken. He was so lost in the "if onlys" that he had stopped paying attention to the woman in his arms.

"What?" he asked, bringing his thoughts back to reality.

"I said, he meant to kill you. Broadsky was aiming for you, Booth." Her words were still soft spoken, just above a whisper.

"Yeah, he was," he concluded after a moment, not knowing what else to say.

"I miss him, Booth. I miss Vincent," she said, tears threatening to fall again.

"I know."

Silence passed between them for a moment. He could hear her breathing, in and out, steady. Just like when she was examining remains in the bone room. He knew she was concentrating her thoughts, trying to say the right words to express how she was feeling.

"As much as I miss him, I know I would miss you more. If Broadsky had shot you -," she hesitated, unsure of what to say next. "I'm … glad … that Broadsky didn't shoot you."

Her voice was thick with emotion. He could hear the tears in her voice, hear her holding them back. Booth didn't know how to respond. Suddenly the air felt thick, heavy. It was harder to breathe now.

Slowly, he shifted onto his side, bringing them face to face. He felt like he needed to see her. He placed a kiss on her forehead, so light it may not even be considered a kiss. Just lips resting on her skin. So slight; a butterfly kiss. He tightened his arms around her slightly. He kept his eyes on her face, willing her to continue. He knew instinctively that she had more to say, but he also knew that sharing these emotions was hard for her.

"Booth, I –"she started, not knowing how to continue. "If he had shot you-"she stopped again, the tears falling lightly. She closed her eyes and shook her head faintly, willing the thoughts to vanish from her mind.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," Booth repeated, rubbing her back again.

Brennan pushed against him slightly using the hand she had been holding over his heart. She could feel the strong beat beneath her fingers and it suddenly made her feel alive. She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes again, trying to show him exactly what she was feeling. Booth stared into her eyes, rimmed with pink from her tears. He wanted to kiss her, but he couldn't move. He could only look into her grey depths.

"I'm not impervious." Words spoken so quiet, as if spoken any louder would cause the universe to come crashing down. It was a statement, and nothing more. To anyone else, it was irrelevant. But to the partners, it was a declaration. And those three words spoke more than any words in the world.

Slowly, she leaned forward. Her eyes drifted closed, just a bit, as her lips rested atop his. Neither moved, both frightened and awed by the position they were in. Then, as softly as a breath, she pressed forward into him, moving her lips slowly over his. She smiled as she felt his mouth begin to stir under her own.

His arms tightened around her, drawing her body flush with his. Her arms snaked around him, hugging him close, as she moved to deepen the kiss. She had forgotten how right it felt to be kissing him, his scent mingled with the taste of him, like a dark espresso blended with a touch of minty sweetness.

She felt his arms tighten around her again as he pressed his mouth into hers, tongues beginning to seek each other out. It was unlike any kiss they had shared.

Their first kiss was one of passion and desire, a yearning for something which had once been forbidden. The second kiss had been full of lust and release, knowing it would only last for five steamboats and then it would be gone. Their last kiss had been one of desperation, of begging for more than what was. But this kiss was different. This kiss contained both finality and beginning. As their tongues danced along one another and emotion increased, they both knew that this was the kiss of a beginning. There would be no going back, no turning around, and no moving away. This kiss was a kiss of a new foundation.

When the need for air was too great, they broke apart, still holding each other closely. Booth looked into her eyes, seeing love and hope staring back at him. He leaned down to kiss her lips again, silently asking what the next move should be.

"Make love to me, Booth."

She lifted her gaze to his and was nearly overcome with the adoration, lust, passion, and desire she saw in his brown orbs. She knew then that they would be okay. It wouldn't be easy, but together, it could be done.

**Good? Bad? More? Less? Please let me know!**


	2. 2: Awakened to Dream

**I recently found a third installment on my computer that I wrote months ago, so I am adding this standalone as a chapter to 'If Only to Live'. I will be reviewing and editing the third chapter and hopefully posting it shortly. My apologies for anyone on alerts ... this isn't a new piece, but feel free to reread! :)**

Awakened To Dream

Booth awakened to the shrill ringing of the phone in the living room. He glanced at the clock on the opposite bedside table, groaning at the time. 7:47 AM. There was no doubt in his mind who the person was on the other end of the line. It had to be Director Cullen. Or worse, AD Hacker.

'Please, God. Not Hacker,' he thought as he pulled himself quickly and smoothly away from the brunette tucked warmly against his chest in order to answer the phone in the other room. At one time he had admired the man, but ever since Andrew Hacker had shown an interest in Brennan – and worse, she had been interested in him – Booth had decided he really didn't like Hacker.

Brennan stirred from a wonderful dream by a phone ringing in the distance. As she slowly opened one eye, she felt the mattress behind her move, as if someone was getting out of bed. She lay still for a moment, trying to gauge her surroundings.

Booth. She was in Booth's apartment, in Booth's bed. Realization entered her brain gently as the pieces of her memory returned to her.

Broadsky. Vincent. Booth insisting she stay the night so he knew she would be safe. Making up the couch. Changing into Booth's sweatshirt. Coming into his room. Tears, so many tears. Being held by Booth. Kissing Booth. Holding Booth. Making love with Booth.

She smiled as she recounted that last thought. Making love with Booth. Yes, they had finally crossed the line that had been figuratively drawn in the sand. And it was then, Brennan noted, that she had one less regret in her life. That and the fact that Booth was right.

"Yes Sir. I understand Sir. No Sir, it won't happen again. Yes. I will be there. Yes Sir. You have my word Sir. Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir." Booth hung up the phone and rubbed his hand across his eyes, groaning, now wide awake. Having your butt chewed out by your boss first thing in the morning was definitely an eye-opener. Not to mention the fact that he had not had much sleep the night before.

He smiled at the reason for his lack of sleep. Dr. Temperance Brennan. Yes, she had been the reason for many nights of unrest over the years, but not for the same reason as the night before. Last night she had come to him, and after six years, they had finally come together. He knew that wasn't her intention when she came into his room last night, but it didn't matter. It was fate.

Booth pushed the door to the bedroom open and saw the aforementioned woman sitting in the middle of his bed, "Indian style". She had recovered his t-shirt from the foot of the bed once she recognized that she wasn't going to be going back to sleep, and had redressed, as best she could with just a t-shirt. The blankets were pulled up to cover her legs, affording her some sense of modesty.

"Hi," she said as Booth appeared in the doorway, clad only in his boxers. Obviously he had more luck finding his underwear this morning than she had.

"Hi." He smiled. She looked so lovely sitting there, swallowed by his shirt, her face bare of makeup, hair still a little wild from their previous activities. 'If I wasn't already in love with her,' he thought to himself, 'The sight of Bones in my shirt, in my bed, would make me fall in love with her.'

"Andrew?" he heard her ask, obviously referring to the phone call that had roused them from their slumber. Even after all that had happened, he cringed inwardly at the thought of her calling Hacker by his given name.

"Nope. Cullen. Wants to see me in his office at 9:30. To discuss Broadsky," he replied, leaving out the question Cullen had asked as to why Booth wasn't yet at work. Cullen knew Booth was always at his desk no later than 7:30 each morning, and he usually arrived even earlier. He didn't know what he was going to tell Cullen on that subject, but he knew he would come up with something other than the truth.

"Oh," she said, covering her mouth with her hand to hide a yawn.

She had slept only a few hours before she woke from the nightmare that had started the tears again. She had dreamt of the events earlier that night: laughing on the platform with Booth and Vincent, the shattered glass of the skylight, then Vincent lying on the ground in a growing pool of blood, Booth trying to stop the bleeding. Then the events changed. She had tried to keep the pressure on the wound, knowing in her mind that it was too late for Vincent, when suddenly another shot came through the glass above them. She felt, more than saw, Booth jerk beside her at the impact the bullet made when it hit his chest. She had screamed, grabbing for Booth. His blood, spilling through her fingers, just as it had that night at the karaoke bar. But she knew, this time it was for real. She yelled for an ambulance and no one around her moved. That's when she woke up, tears already streaming down her face.

Vincent's words had echoed in her mind even as she slept. _Don't make me leave._ Upon waking, she couldn't help but dissect the words and the meaning behind them. The only explanation she could come to was that there was something very wrong with her and she needed Booth to tell her what that something was. That was the reason she had gone into his room. She knew he would be asleep, but she needed to know why Vincent had said those words to her.

Lost in thought, Brennan didn't notice Booth's absence from the doorway until he sat beside her on the bed. She looked up at him, pulled from her reminiscence by the shifting of the mattress. She smiled to ease his questioning look, knowing he was concerned with the way she had "zoned out" on him.

"You okay, Bones?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Booth." Said with a small smile but he knew it to be her standard answer when she didn't want him to dig any deeper into whatever the situation. He knew she would talk about it when she was ready.

He sent a silent prayer heavenward that whatever had caused her to become lost in thought, it had nothing to do with what had happened between them. He didn't think he would be strong enough to keep going if she decided to back out now.

"Good," he replied, smiling back at her, covering his concern. "I guess I should get ready and head over to Cullen's office."

"Yes, you should. I need to go home. I need to get ready as well. For work." She felt nervous all of a sudden, sitting in bed with her partner, silently thinking about him showering, shaving, and preparing for the day ahead.

Booth felt a twinge of disappointment at her words. She wanted to go home to get ready for work? Why couldn't she get ready at his place? Why wouldn't she use his shower? Why couldn't they use the shower together? 'Whoa boy!' his thoughts rang out. 'Don't go there! You'll never make that meeting if you don't stop that thought train right now!'

Booth moved off the bed and headed into the bathroom. He wasn't sure how to approach the subject of what had happened nor did he know what to say to keep Brennan from leaving so soon, so he decided the best thing to do was to not dwell on it. They had, over the last several years, had things arise that neither had wanted to face and, sometimes, things worked themselves out without talking. He hoped this would be one of those times.

Brennan was disappointed that he left so abruptly. She had hoped they would be able to talk about what had happened, but it didn't seem like now would be the time. She scolded herself for mentioning that she needed to go home. She really didn't want to leave, but she knew she would have to eventually. She couldn't wear her clothes from the previous day and she definitely needed a change of underwear.

She pulled herself out from under the blanket and started sifting through the various sheets, blankets, and throws Booth had on his bed, searching for her underwear. She found Booth's sweatshirt, her jeans, and the pants he had been sleeping in, but not her underwear. She bent down to check under the bed, but to no avail. Booth's t-shirt was long enough that it hung to her mid-thigh, but she wasn't sure about walking around in front of Booth in just a shirt. She let out a sigh of frustration and gave up the search.

She decided to slip into her jeans and headed for the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and root around for something to eat. There would be no breakfast at the diner this morning, since Booth was running late, but they both needed some sort of sustenance to get them through until lunchtime.

With the coffee started, she began the search for food. There wasn't much in the refrigerator, and most of what she did see consisted of various kinds of meat which, being vegetarian, did not appeal to her. She moved onto the cabinets, finding little there as well. She brightened when she discovered a canister of oats in the cabinet. She knew Booth didn't like oatmeal, but it would be enough to satisfy her until she could grab lunch.

As the microwave sounded the end of the oatmeal's cooking cycle, Booth appeared in the kitchen, looking very handsome with his perfectly coifed hair, clean boxers, pressed white shirt, and goofy socks. As Brennan finished pouring her coffee, she felt him move behind her, sliding his cup along the counter, silently asking for her to pour his brew as well. After she had poured his coffee and replaced the canter on the base, the toaster signaled the end of its cooking cycle as well.

"I prepared oatmeal, if you would like to have some," she said as she moved away from him toward the microwave. She didn't have to look at him to know he was not going to accept her invitation. But she thought it best to offer. It was, after all, his kitchen and his oatmeal.

"Blech! No thanks!" he retorted, lifting the corner of his mouth in a small snarl. "Toast is just fine." He moved to the toaster and pulled the two pieces out, tossing them onto a paper towel and moved to the small table.

They smiled at one another, each knowing the other's thoughts and feelings on the choice of breakfast, both choosing to stay silent. She liked her healthy oatmeal, he did not. She felt he should eat something more than toast, but she knew he wouldn't. He knew the toast would be fine for now; they always had some sort of pastry in the break room. There would be no mention of the pastry. He didn't want her to launch into a tirade on the dangers of processed foods again.

They ate in comfortable silence, each stealing glances at the other when taking a sip of coffee or a bite of food. When Brennan stood to place her bowl and cup in the sink, Booth found he couldn't hold back any longer.

"I want to kiss you." He stood, bringing his own cup to the sink, blocking her in between his body and the counter. He had thought about it all morning, knowing he wanted to taste her again, realizing the only way that would happen would be if he took the first step. She had made that point clear when she had stated she would go home before heading to the lab.

She turned, facing him, feeling the heat from his body. His scent, so close to her, invaded her senses. "Okay." She smiled, absently moistening her lips in anticipation as his eyes darted from her eyes down to her lips and back. He smiled then, moving his hands from their place on the counter to her waist to hold her closer to him. He kept his gaze locked on hers as he slowly lowered his lips to meet her.

It felt right, as if the two partners had been made for each other. The soft skin of her lips gave way to his lead, leaning into his space with her mouth as he held her tightly in place. With a turn of his head, his tongue slid along her mouth, asking permission for entrance. She opened her lips to him, allowing her own tongue to meet his eagerly. Her arms moved from resting atop his own to encircle his neck, her hands playing with the short hairs found there, drawing him even closer.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, both enjoying the freedom to be together. When Booth finally pulled back, he couldn't believe the desire he saw looking back at him from Brennan. If it weren't for Broadsky, and his waiting superior, he would have had no trouble taking her right then and there in the middle of the kitchen. Reluctantly, he pulled back even more, letting go of her hips and feeling her hands fall away from him.

He smiled timidly, unsure of what to say or do next. He had imagined her saying 'no' to his request, not 'yes'.

"Um," he started, feeling very much like a shy little boy. "Do you need to … I mean, um, if you want to …" he said, motioning behind him, in the direction of the bathroom. He pulled at the tails of his shirt, trying to hide from her exactly how much he enjoyed her kisses while also hoping he wasn't coming across as a jerk. He didn't want to push her away, but he knew that a few more minutes of kissing like that and they would both end up being a lot later than they already were.

Brennan smiled at him, seeing the full effect their kissing had on him. She was glad that her own arousal wasn't as evident as his, but without her underwear, she needed to get home or it would become evident quite quickly.

She moved past him toward the bathroom, grabbing her bra and shirt from yesterday as he went into his room to finish getting ready. She quickly finished dressing, washed her face and, finding a new toothbrush beneath the sink, brushed her teeth. When she made her way back into the living room, she saw Booth sitting on the couch, fingering his poker chip.

"Are you going to the memorial for Vincent tonight at the lab?" she asked as she sat in the chair opposite him, putting her shoes on and beginning to gather her things so she could go. "Cam said the car will be picking up his body around seven."

"Yeah, I'll try to make it. I told Cam I'd be there if I could. It just depends on how today goes. I cannot rest until I get Broadsky. You'll be there, right?"

Brennan nodded, staring at him. The past several months had taken such a toll on him and it was beginning to show. Since Booth had trained and served with Broadsky, he took Broadsky's actions very personal.

"Booth?" She called his name as she moved from the chair to the sofa. He stopped playing with the plastic coin, looking at her move toward him. "I … don't know how to say what I'm feeling. But …," she paused, trying to find the right words.

"Just say it, Bones." He was amazed at how much she had changed since she came home from Mashapushoo Islands.

"I know you are careful, Booth, when you're hunting a suspect." He nodded, listening. "But … although it's important you catch Broadsky … I would consider it a personal favor … if you would be more careful this time." There, it was said.

Booth had shifted on the couch, moving to face her more directly. He couldn't help but grin at the request she had just made. Only his Bones would have such a hard time asking him to be careful.

"I'll be careful, Bones. I promise." He didn't realize he had said anything, until he saw her brow unfurrow. He had been lost in thought on when, exactly, he had started referring to Bones as "his". He would never call her "his" out loud; after all, he treasured his ability to breathe.

As they rose to leave, Booth's hand gravitated to the small of her back, leading her to the door. Just before they reached the door, she stopped and turned to him.

"Will you be at the memorial?" she asked, looking apprehensive.

She repeated the earlier question, masking the inquiry she really wanted to ask. Booth stood in front of her, pulling her in for a hug. He kissed the top of her head, knowing the silent query running through her mind.

"I'll see you tonight, Bones. I'll see you tonight."

He placed a kiss on her cheek, smiling as a pink tinged her cheeks. His hand returned to the small of her back as he led her into the hallway and walked her to her car. He would see her tonight. He would make sure of it.


	3. 3: Truth Behind Pain

**A/N: So I guess "posting soon" was an understatement? Sorry about that! Forgot I had this little thing sitting on the drive. But it's up now and, well, better late than never? Right? Right! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Booth and Brennan and the Jeffersonian Gang are not mine. But oh how I enjoy playing around with them! :)**

Truth Behind Pain

They went their respective ways the morning after leaving his apartment – he to his meeting with Cullen and she home to shower and change. They knew the events the day ahead held both a good outcome and a bad outcome, each choosing to quietly believe for the best. He did all he could to send forth all prayers in the anticipation of being able to return to her in the evening. She trusted his skill, training, and history and kept a positive mind, in spite of her own beliefs that there is no controlling the trials one encounters, and chose to believe their one night together would not be their only one.

She grew excited as she and Hodgins realized the enormity of what a blow to the zygomatic would mean for the person offering the blow. Hodgins grabbed her phone when she called Booth. She could tell from Hodgins's questions that Booth was already caught in a possibly deadly cat-and-mouse game with Broadsky. She tried to explain what they had found. Booth didn't understand the information; Hodgins explained quickly, relaying the message to Booth in simple terms. His last words before hanging up - "You may have just saved my life" – still rang in her mind as she sat in the lounge with the team, anxiously awaiting an update from Agent Shaw.

The call finally came. Booth was safe. And he caught Broadsky. She smiled in relief, her eyes meeting Angela's while the others celebrated with hugs and applause. The two shared a smile – the smile that only best friends can share: the one that holds all secrets, conversations, and approvals of the receiver – causing Brennan to blush slightly at the memory of their earlier conversation.

* * *

><p>Hodgins stomped from the room, unsure exactly what about his presence had upset his wife. Angela quickly turned back to Brennan, a look of expectation on her face.<p>

"So? Spill!" Angela stood across from her friend, watching as Brennan's cheeks flushed a little and her head dropped a half-inch to hide it. She smiled brightly at the reaction she saw, knowing the partners had finally crossed a threshold in their relationship.

"Ange – " she began, her head still down as the memory of the previous night flashed vibrantly through her mind. The smile on her face widened at the memory, not hidden from Angela's view.

"Sweetie, spill!" Angela reminded her softly yet firmly. She had waited and hoped for nearly as long as her friend – _maybe even longer if you think about it_ she thought- for this moment to happen between the two.

"I was upset about Vincent," she started, having recovered slightly. Her tone was even, nearly clinical; Angela could hear a thread of joy underlining her every word. "I had a dream, about Vincent. Well, not a dream really. More like reliving the moment he fell. But in the dream, instead of helping Booth stop the bleeding, I was scared. I couldn't move. And then Broadsky shot again." Her voice dropped to a whisper on her last words. "Booth was shot."

Angela watched her friend relay the story, seeing the emotions flash across her face. Brennan continued.

"I wanted to see Booth. I _had_ to see Booth. I went into his room to make sure he was still there. I mean, I knew he would be there, of course. But the dream I had, I don't know. I just had to make sure he was there. I told him about Vincent and he hugged me. Did you know last night was the first time he hugged me since he asked me to give "us" as shot?" She kept her eyes on Leishenger's bones, missing the surprise on Angela's face at the mention of the fated conversation a year earlier.

"Wait - What?" she interrupted. "Booth asked you to give a relationship a chance? When was this?! Why didn't you tell me?"

Brennan looked at Angela then, realizing then that she had never told her friend about the evening they went to Sweets's office. Nor of the conversation that had created the past tumultuous year.

"I'm sorry, Ange. I wanted to tell you, but … I just couldn't." She looked at her friend. Somehow she knew, having experienced the ramifications of that night along with everyone else, Angela understood. She did and didn't press any further on the subject, quickly adding two and two together.

"So? Booth hugged you? And then …?" She saw the half smile again, Brennan's face lighting up yet again.

"I don't know. It happened so quickly, but so slowly." She looked back at the bones in front of her, a calm washing over her. "We made love."

The statement was quiet, not rushed. She sighed, content, picking up Matt Leishenger's skull again. Naturally, Angela had wanted details, but Brennan had not offered them and she knew now was not the time to press her.

"Good for you, sweetie." And with that, Angela left Brennan to continue staring at the young spotter's skull.

* * *

><p>The group celebrated with a toast of coffee, tea, and water to the collective efforts of Booth, Brennan, and the work of the team. The relief of knowing Broadsky was off the street quickly gave way to the fatigue they had all been fighting the past twenty-four hours.<p>

Cam announced that, with everything wrapped up, the team deserved a few hours for themselves. They all agreed to meet back at the Jeffersonian that evening for Vincent's final goodbye.

As she left her office, Brennan noticed a text from Booth waiting for her.

WANTED TO GET LATE LUNCH. PAPERWORK TAKING LONGER THAN EXPECTED. MEET YOU AT JEFFERSONIAN LATER?

She smiled at the words on the screen, knowing there were still things they needed to discuss, but content with the change her life had suddenly taken. She replied quickly.

WILL BE THERE. DINNER AFTER?

The phone buzzed almost immediately: DEFINITELY.

She made her way home, stopping to buy a plant for Vincent. She felt complete somehow; as if a part of herself had been missing and was now back where it belonged. The past year had been strenuous and tense, but she knew somehow that things had suddenly fallen back into place. Things would be better now.

These thoughts soothed her as she climbed into bed, setting the alarm to wake her in a few hours. _Yes, things are going to finally be okay_, she thought as sleep finally overtook her.

* * *

><p><em>Please take a moment to share your thoughts with me. Your comments make me strong :)<em>


	4. 4: After Adieu

**A/N: I'd like to take a moment and say "thank you" to every reader who has read, reviewed, followed, & favorited this story. It started out as a one-shot which turned into a "morning after" … and now, well, you've all encouraged me to continue and I could not have done it without each of you. :) THANK YOU!  
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**And a special "thank you" to _TheaJ1_ and_ LadyBards_ for their lovely input. You ladies are awesome! :)  
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**Disclaimer: Booth and Brennan and the Jeffersonian Gang are not mine. But oh how I enjoy playing around with them! :)**

After Adieu

They watched in sadness as the car pulled away, Vincent's remains resting inside. She looped her arm in his as they watched the car turn the corner, leaving the Jeffersonian's alley, heading for the airport. The rest of their friends made their way towards the building, their voices still carrying the discordant tune of their colleague's farewell. Angela paused, watching the partners interact with each other, a smile crossing her face. She watched as Brennan leaned over, whispering something in her lover's ear before they turned, following everyone back into the lab.

The group gathered once again in the lounge, the reality of their loss finally settling over each of them. There was a small charge of celebration in the air, overshadowed by the loss of a friend. After a few moments, Sweets broke the silence.

"Um … If anybody needs to, y'know, talk about anything, I'm available. Strictly as a professional, of course. Grief can manifest itself in many-"

"Thanks, Sweets," Booth interrupted, his eyes focused on the woman across from him rather than on the young psychologist.

"Yes, Dr. Sweets, thank you," Cam replied. "I'll make sure everyone here in the lab has your information. I think I can safely say that we all cared for Mr. Nigel-Murray very much."

Sweets nodded to Cam, laying a stack of business cards on the table in front of her. He left the lounge, knowing the coming days would bring calls and visits from the Jeffersonian personnel.

Slowly, the group dissipated, each finding the willpower to leave. Before leaving, Angela hugged Booth, then Brennan, silently wishing them luck and hope in the newest aspect of their relationship.

Booth stepped closer to Brennan, his arm falling lightly behind her waist as she leaned into his shoulder. He glanced down at her face, watching as the lines of fear, worry, and stress faded away. Her eyes were closed, her face covered with contentment and peace.

"Bones?" His voice soft, not wanting to break the moment or disturb her peaceful moment, he whispered her name again as his hand rested on her hip, nudging her closer to him. "Bones? Are you ready?"

She opened her eyes, looking up into the dark brown eyes staring lovingly back at her. The corners of her mouth turned upward at the care and concern he showed for her.

"I'm ready, Booth." He released her waist, his hand slipping into hers, their fingers twining.

* * *

><p>She made her way back to the living room, handing him another beer as he set the empty food carton back on the coffee table. They had decided on take-out for dinner instead of going out and had stopped by Haad Thai on New York Avenue before she had asked if he would take her back to her apartment. He stretched his legs across the wood as she sat down beside him. She sat closer than before, he noticed; having broken through her walls the night before, she felt she could move freely and comfortably around him now.<p>

His stretched his arm along the back of the couch, encouraging her closer. The movie played on the television, an old black and white thriller about a tennis player who arranged to have his wife murdered.

"We don't have to watch this, Bones. I can find something else if you want." He took a long swallow of beer, enjoying the taste of the cool amber liquid.

"No, Booth. It's fine," she responded, settling herself against his side as she pulled a nearby blanket tighter around her. They sat together watching the movie a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Why are you staring at me?" A smile played on her lips at catching him watching her. He chuckled softly at being caught.

"How did you know I was watching you?"

"While I don't put much stock in psychology, there are several studies that have nearly proven that there lies a system within our brains that can sense when a predator is watching," she said. He laughed a little at her scientific explanation, leaning down to kiss the top of her head, his fingers running softly through her hair.

He didn't produce an answer to her question, unsure himself exactly why he was content to sit and watch her watch the movie. It had been less than twenty-four hours since the change in their relationship, but already his heart felt more content, more whole than it ever had before. He smiled as he downed the last of his beer, setting the empty bottle on the end table. His shoulder shifted, causing her head to drop slightly. He leaned back, realizing she was already asleep at his side. He moved to the side, allowing her head to fall more directly against his chest, his heartbeat increasing in speed as how _right_ it felt to have her there, cuddled with him on the couch.

They stayed that way until the movie ended. He pushed a lock of hair from her forehead, leaning down to again kiss her again. _I'll never get tired of kissing her_, he thought. As her eyes opened slowly, he greeted her with a bright smile.

"Hey," he whispered when he was fully in her sight. She met his grin with a smile of her own.

"Hey." She sat up, a yawn taking her by surprise. He stood, offering her his hand. She threw the blanket back not bothering to fold it and replace it on the back of the sofa, accepting his hand to help her stand. When she stood, she immediately wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He stood for a moment in surprise, his arms automatically encasing her.

"Booth?" she whispered against his chest. Her normally strong, assertive voice sounded small and tiny in the quiet, darkened living room. He squeezed her tighter against him, a small _hmm?_ his only response.

"Stay." A statement. Not a question or an invitation. More like an order. He closed his eyes, his head resting on hers in the darkness. He inhaled her scent deeply, the reality of the line they had crossed resting comfortably on his shoulders. He took her hand in his, allowing her to lead him into her bedroom. He watched as she slipped between the sheets, noticing how her "side" of the bed complemented his own sleeping preference.

He slipped the jeans from his muscular legs, climbing quickly in beside her. She turned to him instinctively, her body curling into his as he settled against the pillow. A soft rain pelted the window, reminding him of the tears she shared so openly with him the night before. Also of the metaphorical washing away of the boundaries she had held around her heart for so long, the pieces of her bare to him now.

He heard her sigh deeply as her body relaxed completely against his. He laid there, listening to the rain and to the soft exhale of her breath. As he closed his eyes, he sent a silent prayer heavenward, grateful for what his life had suddenly become. _It doesn't get any better than this_, he thought as he drifted off, the last day finally catching up to him.

* * *

><p><em>*Haad Thai really is an amazing Thai restaurant on New York Ave in Washington DC. I've been a few times when visiting my brother. So good! Please take a moment to relay your thoughts! Any thoughts! They don't even have to be about this story! :)<em>


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